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Weekly
Article
Desert
or Dessert?
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Have you ever thought about the
difference between desert and dessert-just one small "s" but oh such
different images come to mind. Lemon pie, chocolate chip cookies,
German chocolate cake-gooey, rich, yummy, comforting food vs a dry,
hot, thirsty, empty,lonely, barren landscape.
Our day to day habits are often like dessert-comforting and gooey, hard
on the arteries but so difficult to change until change is thrust upon
you. Then comes a layoff, a medical diagnosis, a breakup of a
relationship, a death of someone close to you, or a "crisis of meaning"
in your life. Suddenly you are dropped in the Desert.
You despair.
• You don't know yourself. You feel lost, abandoned and confused.
• Your sense of time changes
• Food loses its appeal
• You can't sleep
• You can't focus. You wander aimlessly.
What the bleep has happened to your
life?
These in-between times -the space after one trapeze and before catching
the next- seem like forever and torturous. And the world is impatient
for you to get on with your life. Get back on track! It is frightening
to those around you to see you lost because they depend on you.
So what is happening in this Desert? It seems like nothing is
happening, yet there is more than meets the eye. I lived for 2 years on
the Mojave Desert and discovered an amazing amount of plant and animal
life in this ecosystem. I was shocked to see the Desert come alive one
Spring-with endless rolling hills of beautiful wild flowers. It was
gorgeous--- I had no idea!
When you find yourself in your desert there is a lot going on beneath
the surface. Old ways of thinking, believing, and behaving are getting
de-constructed-making space for the new. Just like a house remodel-you
have to tear down before you can rebuild. You are letting go of old
ways of being -that don't have the same meaning anymore. This takes
time, it takes quiet, it takes wandering, it takes "feeling the
emptiness" that carves out space for something new to come.
Don't rush it or let yourself be rushed:
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Treat yourself lovingly during this passageway between your past and
your future.
• Rest when you need to rest, sleep when you are tired
• Listen to music, take walks, write when words come
• Know there won't be much structure in your life for a while.
These times "off the treadmill" in my life seem to trigger old songs
from my past and old memories of what I enjoyed as a child. I find my
heart opening and I discover parts of myself that I had long forgotten.
The desert times are hidden "dessert." They will help you bring the
true richness and meaning you need in your life-that often gets lost in
the day to day rush. Trust that these times are necessary and critical
to assist you in truly understanding who you are and where you want to
go next. And the bonus is: this dessert won't go to your waistline!
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